Baron Beelzebub was born on the fourth day of Ni-Gellah. The only festival on Urth where men were compelled to dribble and the females of the female persuasion where forced to point out that ‘she’s got a big arse, actually’ until they too started dribbling. And then everyone was dribbling. And lo, all the scrabble boards ran out of ‘B’s and the world was declared a disaster zone.

For anyone playing scrabble. Which at this time was all the Carpathians, Oxiz, Zeus and the Uqps, or at least this is true according to Miss Alethea Fillbottle, 93, winner of the last known game of scrabble before the universe exploded. Or she ran out of Tawny port. She’s not sure.

And these things can appear to be awfully similar sometimes.

Iain Banks is fepping brilliant by the way. Go read the Steep approach to Garbadale instead of this nonsense. Do it. Or I’ll play scrabble with you.

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