Emperor Big Poobah Chief Vizier Lizard

That’s what I should be made. And the chain of office should be made from refreshers. Or possibly the front claws of Siberian Church Mice, whichever is easier. And let’s face it, to my electorate’s taste. For after all, is it not the burden of those called to office but to serve?

If I could serve anything, it would probably be tea at the Ritz. Or more specifically, tea from the Ritz, but somewhere else. Ritzy’s in Tombland, Norwich, for one. Although I believe that shut down in 1994. Other things that shut down in ’94 include the Orinoco power station in North Orinoco, Orinocowa, and my belief in the UK’s political system. Although to be fair, the three things are not related.

My heart is currently gladdened by this story, although when I first read it, they hadn’t solved the mystery of who the guy was. Top man. There should be more anarchist sculptors in my experience. Although none of them should be allowed to put gargoyles on top of Orinoco power station, North Orinoco. Or carve political motifs on top of the lions that guarded the entrance to Ritzy’s. Or at least I think they did. Never went in the place myself. Too socio-political.

Anyhoo. Vote for me. Strike a blow for the corrugated man. I pledge to root out corruption and make it into tea bags, turn injustice into jam and allow mint humbugs the vote.

You know it makes sense. Emperor Big Poobah Chief Vizier Lizard. You heard it here first!

One comment

  1. Barshalls…

    after your 10k triumph, I suggest your chain of office be made of anvils. You’ll need a ceremonial mace too. Perhaps a trident speared with cheese, gherkins, pineapple and those miniature pickled onions now so tragically out of fashions?

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