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So. Was a word that I rarely used when I was younger. I would write longer sentences. I guess I’m getting old and simply can’t be bothered with the polysyllabic polyfilla. I would break rhythym with an exasperated ‘Anyway…’ which when the intertron started changed to ‘Anyhoo’. Americans. Bad influence.

But now I use ‘so’ as my stock ‘changeup’ word. I am liking staccato phrasing more and more. I guess it’s a move from sixth-form poetry to some form of Hegleyism. Or maybe it’s a secret yearning to write Catherine Cookson aga-sagas and have oodles of middle-aged women nudging each other in the Post Office. And no, that’s not a euphemism. I’ve never read any Hegley. Or Ism. Nor Cookson for that matter. Although I did once read the serial number of an aga. Or whatever those pretend-agas are. Raeburns. That’s it. Funny the total kibble you can dredge up from your memory if you really want to.

But I digress. My New Year’s Writing Resolution (surely a C86 ‘b’ side) isn’t going so well. I have spent some time looking at words that I have allegedly written. And indeed, I have even moved my pen and pencil in such a manner that would suggest cuneiformic intention, or at least Le Doodle (incidentally, is there a 2.0 company called Doodl yet? If not, why not?). However, little has happened in anger. Though some re-plotting has been done in sorrow. Back story has been buried so deep as to be in the garden of another novel entirely. C’est le turf, or vie or summat.

Anyhoo. I have finally installed Scrivener and I even read the tutorial that is how seriously I am taking my displacement tactics this time round. Still, I have to write close to 5000 words for work next week, so I should be so heartily sick of documentary that I will be positively flowing in the polychromatic visions of Tom and Flame Haired Parker.

No-one is out there, I know, but if you ever stumble across this, do say ‘hi’. And sorry if you’re a Raeburn owner and are now offended. Or love Cookson. Or God Forbid. You are a Hegley-ite. Let me just say, for now. A pre-emptive “HI” back.

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