Like my good friend Mr Hassenscouser, I am partial to the odd advert starring ‘Tyrannoserious Alan’, a dinosaur with no sense of humour whatsoever. This is a particular problem for said reptile, as he spends most of his time talking to an imaginary volcano (possessed by the spirit of Brian Blessed, or Prince Charles, or possibly a Peking Duck — one can never be sure about these things). Anyhoo, this particular foam rubber apprentice is fond of flowcharts, which is just spiffing, because I had always thought that what the Pleiscene era was missing was a good old brainstorm. I mean sure, they had their ice age and their mass extinctions and their fancy Poole pottery, but what did the Beefeaters ever do for us, eh?
Beefeaters? What am I thinking of? Mr Darwin hadn’t invented lego yet, let alone the humble Cowius Parsleyius. No burgers for Stanley. I mean Alan. And let that be a lesson to you.…
