So. I was walking down High Holborn. Thinking about christmas parties and the likelihood of any redhead bobs being there. Listening to Echo and the Bunnymen and thinking about jumpers and their relevance to popular culture. I was wondering if there was perhaps a better wearing of arran sweaters than Northern post-punk geniuiuiui (funny how close genuis is to ennui. And by extension, Enya, but I digress)? Which naturally led to pondering on Captain Haddock’s relationship with Tintin and whether Snowy is a euphemism (funny how close euphemism is to mimsy, one of the best words to have ever been written down in the English language. Though not as good as ‘mellifluous’ which is, I’m sure you’ll agree ‘the daddy’. Although, obviously, thanks to its socio-porridge context, ‘daddy’ is a pretty useful word. Particularly when combined with ‘or chips’ (which are a peculiar brand of potato snacks made only by whelk fishermen in pre-Victorian Grimsby) and ‘cool’ (only to be used while on stag parties in Riga or in kitchen disco renditions of Boney M songs. That’s kitchen disco. Kitsch is urgh)).
Where was I? Oh yes. Jumpers. The best song* every written about jumpers is ‘Undone (the sweater song)’ by Weezer. Which has the following chorus:
If you want to destroy my sweater
Pull this thread as you walk away (whoa ooh whoah whoo, but not on the last chorus please, it’s gauche)
Watch me unravel, I’ll soon by nekkid
Lying on the floor, lying on the floor
I’ve come undone.’
So. The moral of the story is. Don’t have too much fun, unless this is in the noble quest of pursuing redhead bobs. For the freckled shall inherit the knitwear.
*Where’s me jumper by Sultans of Ping is excluded from this list as it brings back painful memories related to the song title.
Feel free to disagree.…
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